shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
