Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That's intense
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
