Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
