i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
