you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
