oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
