Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Congratulations! We have a period
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