Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Randomize
