bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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