I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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