So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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