Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
