I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He felt like a one man threesome
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Success! We fucked roommates!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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