she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think people are normalizing furries
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
