The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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