This is not my ceiling
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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