doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
