at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
