Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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