Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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