i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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