It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
