come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
