look no pants
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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