Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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