I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
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I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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