if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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