woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
