I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
