Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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