So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
