this will be a night to untag.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
