i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
