The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize