Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
