she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
