So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
