It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
