with your own penis?
Sponge bath it is.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
