I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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