I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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