So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
