Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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