He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
