well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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