return my video game
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
