yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
