Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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