i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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