Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Two words: blizzard sex
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back