I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
