the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
