would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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