ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
