Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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