its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
