I'm lost and stupid without you.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
