I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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