so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
